on November 28, 2013

Don’t try to always do things your way

when you weren’t there to see what I went through

when you didn’t know why I was crying in the middle of the night

or learning how to trust someone I didn’t know in a different state

Don’t act like the things that you said to me weren’t hurtful.

I was the one who said, I’m making the decision to take myself out of the picture

because I never wanted you to have to choose.

While you didn’t take me seriously

I was taking it to heart

Don’t on the sly try to say something that you know

is going to make me relapse

or just make me want to take a pill and sleep the rest of the day.

I was willing to take myself out the picture forever

because I don’t think that relationship can ever be repaired

sometimes sorry isn’t enough

like you said forgive her and I did

I just don’t want to be around her

If I told you that I was going back out with someone who assaulted me

would you tell me to do the same things that you would tell me to do with him as

you did with her?,

That’s what I call a double-standard

That’s why I said I wanted to make the decision.

Now I am sitting here and my anxiety is on high, my heart-rate has increased

and I’m paranoid that something is going to end up placed somewhere

so that it can lead to poison.

I don’t ask for much, I’m not here every single day

and the one thing that I asked for is the one thing

that you made sure happened.

When people don’t understand trigger points

they have no concept of what flashback really are.



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