allthepageswereoutoforder

Alone, Afraid and Terrified

dontbeashamed

You jumped to a rash decision that was never going to affect your life. Not one time did you ask about it or said you were sorry. She has never in her life known someone who was in shock to be sent off to live with somebody she didn’t know or hadn’t seen in over two decades

Your words were harsh and it’s not because she was weak. You were like everybody else trying to have power and control that you didn’t even know how in shock she was, or how she was rambling and what was supposed to be sentences turned into just one word.

In that instance you treated her worse than anybody ever had and you were the one that meant the world to her. Everything shattered in an instance and the second she got out the car she had been through three breakdowns in three different cities.

Alone, Afraid and Terrified and still felt trapped and torched in somebody else reality show. It was the most tragic event ever to have happened to her and there were so many unknown people, familiar people, she saw so many visions that her head was about to explode again and this man was mean and had no ideal how to treat someone. Guess I was supposed to be reliving something just because you thought she was use to something.

The thing is she never thought that she was weak, she was always strong and her faith was so strong. she may cry tears, have thousand of things that she will never know of and be 295.7 but at least I’m alive, safe, surrounded by love and not letting power and control define me anymore.

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Ripped into pieces

She looks happy

she’s all smiles

but when she walks away

if you could see what’s inside her heart

you would see how it ripped into pieces

that it was no longer there

just a hole

that you can look right through.

The thing that you don’t realize

is your words still hurt her.

blackroses

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Attempted

Tears streaming down her face,

Her hands over her ears because the sound was too loud

Flinging herself on the bed

still cringing in disbelief

She can’t take it anymore

She’s tired of hearing people say,

You might as well take a whole  bottle of pills and kill yourself,

Your ungrateful like your mammy,

Look at me when I am talking to you

She is drowning

and everybody that she trusted turned out to be the wrong people

She’s hurt that words can’t describe the feelings in her chest that seems stuck.

Why did she even come home

If she knew this was a continuation

of where she left off at

she would have just stayed

and it wouldn’t have been about a bottle of pills

but someone’s hand of rage

that could have ended it all.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

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Broken

For once can you give it a rest

If I wanted to know something I would have asked you.

I don’t want to hear you say anything else about her

Has it ever occurred to you why I change the topic in mid-sentence

Has it ever occurred to you she did the most hurt of all.

It sickens me to have to listen

she’s nobody to me

she fucked up so bad on the last get-together

that I hope she burns in hell

and like I said and what I meant

I don’t want to know her even in death

Whatever you are wishing for it’s not going to happen

Sorry that I broke your heart

but apparently you didn’t care that mine already was

one day

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